229/365 - “Loopholes”
You’re a guest on The Tonight Show. Jay Leno opens his mouth impossibly wide and slowly approaches you, eventually crushing your head between his massive jaws. The whole thing plays out so unnaturally slowly, as if in a dream, but you are paralyzed with fear the whole time. The audience just laughs, and laughs, and laughs.
*inscribes the url of my dickpic on the moon with my super laser**gets a text message from everyone on earth**they all say “HAHAHA HA HAH HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”*